Mind4Youth

Author: Micah Owens

When I first arrived at the University of Southern California as a nervous freshman, I was surrounded by thousands of other students, living in a dorm with shared bathrooms and a roommate, and going to classes and events where I sometimes met dozens of new people on adaily basis in the first few weeks. Despite all this, I had never felt more alone. I had moved to the US for college after spending over 8 years abroad at a small school in Kenya where my parents were teaching. I had no friends or family in the state, and my parents were on an entirely different continent. I had trouble connecting with anyone around me and felt like I was in the same place as all these other students and yet was completely cut off from them.

Though I felt alone at this time, I later discovered that I was not alone in my experience. A 2017 study by the American College Health Association asked nearly 48,000 college students about feelings of loneliness. They found that 63% of the students had “felt very lonely” at least once in the past year (American College Health Association).

Loneliness is a topic often overlooked by the health industry. Though it is not identified as a disease, it can still have drastic effects on someone’s well-being. Dr. Greg Stuewe-Portnoff defined loneliness as “the experience of isolation, disorientation, or lostness within a dimensional domain of meaning” (Stuewe-Portnoff). You may feel a disconnect between the social connections you have and the ones you want and believe others have. It’s a subjective experience that can differ from person to person, and one does not actually have to be alone to feel lonely. If you are unsure whether what you’re experiencing is loneliness or how serious it is, you can try using the UCLA Loneliness Scale.

College is a time of transition and change, with some students moving far from home, across state or even country lines to often unfamiliar places full of new faces and expectations. It’s common and perhaps even natural for you to experience some degree of isolation during this time, especially in your first year.

So what can you do when you’re struggling with feelings of isolation and loneliness? There are many organizations, articles, and other resources that will provide you with tips to change your mindset with tactics such as reframing and practicing gratitude, which are extremely important in
the long-term but may not feel easy now, so here are five tangible things you can start doing immediately that can help:

1. Reduce your time on social media In our day and age, social media is a large part of life. It allows us to stay connected with friends and loved ones, learn new things, and find content that fits our interests to keep us entertained. But despite social media’s many benefits, there are some negatives as well. According to Project UnLonely, a national initiative launched by the Foundation for Arts and Healing, social media can have many adverse effects, both direct and indirect, on your social connections. Because social media is so filtered, it tends to show you the best, most cultivated moments in people’s lives, not accurate pictures. It can lead you to believe that others are living happier or more successful lives when the reality could be far different (Campus loneliness fact sheet). Additionally, increased usage of social media takes up the space that could otherwise be used for activities that increase your social connections at university. So the first thing to do is turn off your phone for a bit and find other things to keep you occupied and, hopefully, form some new friendships.

2. Spend time outdoors Once you’ve saved yourself from doom scrolling, put on some shoes and get some fresh air! Studies have shown that time in nature can have a positive effect on your health. We tend to feel more lonely when we are physically isolated in our rooms on top of feeling socially isolated (Astell-Burt et al). Getting natural light in a green space can not only improve your mood, but it can be an opportunity to meet new people as well. You can read a book, play sports, or just soak up the sun. Whatever you decide, the step of physically putting yourself out into the world is extremely important in combating loneliness.

3. Join a club! Universities often have dozens or even hundreds of clubs that envelop a range of interests. Most universities run intramurals if you’re interested in a certain sport, and many have clubs for those hailing from a specific culture or identity. Joining a club that fits your hobbies or identity can be a way to find people with similar interests or backgrounds that you can eventually forge the deeper relationships you desire with (Feeling lonely in college). Additionally, these organizations are a great way to meet people in general and expand upon college life outside of classes.

4. Call a friend or family member Calling up someone you’re close to can be extremely helpful if you’re ever feeling lonely. Though you may not realize it, it’s likely that they are struggling or have struggled with loneliness at some point in their lives as well and will understand what you’re going through. Additionally, when you’re feeling isolated, it’s always good to remind yourself that you have a support system, even if they aren’t present at your university.

5. Utilize campus resources Most universities have resources to aid the wellbeing of their students. If you’re experiencing loneliness and it is having a significant impact on your mental, physical, or emotional health, these resources may be helpful for you. Reach out to your university’s health center or check out their website to find out what your university offers for their students. If your university doesn’t provide adequate or appropriate resources for your situation, look in your local community for other health centers that may be able to help, or check online. The JED Foundation, which has sought to protect the emotional and mental health of teens since its founding in 2000, offers a number of resources and informational articles on loneliness and other mental health topics. If feelings of loneliness grow intense and you need immediate help, call 988, the US national Suicide and Crisis Helpline, or chat with them online at their website. They will provide support and assistance for whatever you may be going through.

These are five things you can do if you’re experiencing loneliness. However, there is another tip to remember that may be the most important of them all:
Give yourself time
Creating new, meaningful relationships is difficult and it can take a long time to get past the surface-level. Allow yourself the time to develop these relationships and remember that many other college students are in the same boat as you.

There were times in my freshman year that the loneliness felt crushing, and even going further into college I’ve grappled with it many times, but all of these things helped me through and gave me the time and resources to develop the connections and relationships I so desperately desired. If you want to read a New York Times article from another student who struggled with loneliness and their advice, read it here. Additionally, Project UnLonely has over a hundred videos and short films about loneliness and people’s experience with it that you can watch for free here.
If you’re a college student burdened by loneliness, remember to utilize these resources, get help if you need it, and above all, be kind to yourself.

Sources:
American College Health Association. American College Health Association-National College Health Assessment II: Reference Group Executive Summary Fall 2017. Hanover, MD: American College Health Association; 2018.

“Campus Loneliness Fact Sheet.” The Foundation for Art & Healing, 13 Feb. 2023, http://www.artandhealing.org/campus-loneliness-fact-sheet/.

“Feeling Lonely in College.” The Jed Foundation, 16 Aug. 2023,
jedfoundation.org/resource/feeling-lonely-in-college/.

Greg Stuewe-Portnoff (1988) Loneliness: Lost in the Landscape of Meaning, The Journal of Psychology, 122:6, 545-555, DOI: 10.1080/00223980.1988.9915529

Thomas Astell-Burt et al. “Green Space and Loneliness: A Systematic Review with Theoretical and Methodological Guidance for Future Research.” Science of The Total Environment, Elsevier, 22 July 2022,
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0048969722046198 via%3Dihub.